Copyright © 2000, Jenine Stanley

All the Whoos down in Whooville liked Christmas a lot, But one canine called Guide Dog certainly did not. He did not like the fuss of the holiday season. Nobody knew why or just what the reason. It could be that his tail wasn't screwed on just right, Or maybe his collar was just a bit tight. It seems though that the true cause of it all, Was that his harness was two sizes too small! Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, The Guide Dog hated Christmas with all four of his paws! He hated the Whoos and their silly bobbles and lights, Their strange decorations and elves dressed in tights. He loathed their gift wrapping with ribbons and bows! He abhorred the tinsel and sprinkles that tickled his nose! Then there was the food they left lying about, All those munchies and crunchies bought in massive amounts. There were peppermint swirls and plum cakes made with yeast, Cookies and FooFoos, and tons of roast beast. It all sat out there for the Guide Dog to see, But he could not have any! Not one bite you see. But the worst thing the Whoos did at this time of year, The thing that he dreaded whenever he'd hear, Was the great din those Whoos made when playing with toys. Oh but it wasn't just that! Everywhere there was noise! Noise, noise, noise noise! >From the tall to the small, Every Whoo made some noise, every one of them all! Little Whoos shouted and tooted and whooped! Senior citizen Whoos grumbled and groused as they stooped! Their Whoo cars honked loudly out there in the street! And the cackle of Whoo laughter went up every time they would meet! The Guide dog could not escape all this horrifically sound. There simply was no quiet place to be found! >From his bed he could hear them, with their Whoo bells they'd ring. But the worst part of all was when grown up Whoos tried to sing! They would hum or they'd whistle or screech out a song. Some would sing way off key or hold notes far too long. For some, louder was better; their tones quite absurd. "Give it up!" growled the Guide Dog. "Those aren't the right words!" The Guide Dog looked down upon Whooville one day, Tolerating this tumult he could not do, no way! So he gave a great shake and fur flew as he thought How can I stop this? How can Christmas be not? Then the Guide dog took a paw through his mail, Bills, bills, junk, bills and more junk, it never did fail. And there in the stack was another reminder, Another good bit for the Guide Dog's paper grinder! In a bright envelop was a glossy red card, The image on which the Guide Dog studied hard. An adorable puppy in harness sat there, With large liquid brown eyes it did sappily stare. "How precious," smeared the Guide Dog at the cuddly pup. "I suppose this will get those Whoos to give up Some of their hard earned money to that guide dog school. Oh, if you only knew what you were in for, you fuzzy fool." Just then an idea popped into his head! Why fight Christmas? Why not try to steal it instead? If the Whoos would give money, what else could he get? Could he take away Christmas? You certainly bet! So that Guide Dog set out to make himself look As adorable and engaging as those dog guides in books. He dyed his dog fur to a fashionable hew And made his pointy ears hang down like a cute dog guide's do. 'Round his neck he secured a large bright red bow, And a full set of sleigh bells on his harness did go. Then that Guide Dog did practice a wide goofy grin, He plumped up his muzzle and drooled on his chin. Lastly he worked out how to waggle his tail To look silly and harmless and charm without fail. His costume complete, the Guide Dog set out Very late Christmas Eve when no Whoos were about. He made his way from this house to that Being sure to reek havoc each place he stopped at. With a swipe of his tail, decorations were smashed! His paws made quick work of the gift wrap, now trashed! The Whoo presents came open just to shred with his teeth And he even destroyed their lovely Whoo wreath. Into their kitchens the Guide Dog next went, Cleaned the counters, the pantry, and then down he bent. With a loud sloppy shlurp he drank the Whoos' Christmas punch. Then considered some cookies upon which to munch. As you can only imagine what goes in must come out. This was part of the plan though and lying about Were piles and piles of odorous stuff, Ruining more decorations, but that wasn't enough! At each house, the Guide Dog did tiptoe upstairs And onto the Whoos' best clothing he shed many hairs. He slobbered on Mother Whoo's silk blouse and chewed on Father Whoo's tie. He hid one of each child's socks though he didn't know why. The Guide Dog fought to hide the smile on his lips. Those Whoos would have no Christmas! They were up to their hips In ruined belongings, without any food! "My, I'm clever, a doggie quite good!" His last stop nearly finished, his work nearly done, The Guide Dog was joyous and having great fun. After eating and swilling Whoo cookies and Whoo wine, A place to relieve he quickly needed to find! What better spot than that Whoo Christmas tree! But as he lifted one leg, he heard a sound, wee. Tiny Whoo footsteps on soft slippered toes, Brought a tiny Whoo child with a small button nose. She stood near the sofa and listened with care, Then she stepped cautiously forward and asked him "Who's there?" The Guide Dog could tell as she moved through the room, That this child could not see him by the tree where he loomed. Her eyes did not move as she came right up to touch The tip of his nose, then she giggled so much. "Oh my,"she whispered as her fingers explored his thick fur "What a beautiful puppy you are." Then the dog said to her, "Uhm, yes Little Whoo, now you'd best run along. Santa Klaus will soon be here if I am not wrong." The Guide Dog moved slightly and his harness bells shook. Then the wee Whoo girl bent close for a look. Her smile grew enormously wide as her hands felt the gear, The straps and the buckles and handle so near. "You are a dog guide." She uttered with pride. "You are specially trained to walk by my side. I've read all about you in school." Noted she. "And when I grow up, a dog like you will help me to see." The Guide Dog understood now. For a moment he paused. "Good for you Little One, but it's bedtime now, because Santa will come soon and he'll want you asleep, Tucked up in your bedroom without even a peep." There were no words exchanged as they stood there, those two. The girl took the harness handle and the dog knew what to do. He walked very carefully as she followed beside, Past the broken decorations and messes that he could not hide, But she never noticed. If she did, would she care? It was much more important to have this dog there. With a gentle move right and a walk down the hall, The Guide Dog did take her past things great and small. She kissed his cold nose, "You're a very good pup." Then he gave her a shlurp to the face and sent her on up. That little Whoo toddled upstairs as he stifled a tear. The Guide Dog knew though he must be out of here! After shorting out the Whoos' lights with one lift of his leg, He started for home, for his own bed he did beg. As the sun rose that morning, the Guide Dog stretched with a smile. Narry a sound could be heard for a mile! No Whoos tooting honkers, no Whoos tweeting horns! No Whoos clanking clackers! No Whoos popping corn! And best of all, no Whoo voices singing those hideous songs! No Whoos, but wait, could the Guide Dog be wrong? Far far away through the chill morning air, A tiny Whoo voice sang, bright and clear without care. Oh, some Whoos were astonished when they awoke to the mess. Some Whoos complained loudly and some did profess. But the little Whoo girl did not pay them much heed. Her Christmas gift had not been ruined indeed. She sang out so loudly of what she had done. She'd walked with a dog guide! It had been great fun! Soon her happy spirit caught everyone's ear, And filled all the Whoos with holiday cheer. The sound drifted high up to the Guide Dog's warm bed. It wasn't a bad sound, but a sweet one instead. The Guide Dog did wonder as he sat up and yawned, How could those Whoos be festive as Christmas Day dawned? They had no presents, no grand Christmas meal, No lights and no tree and no clothes to appeal. But they all kept on singing, with that one little tot. The Guide Dog then saw just what they'd all got. It is true of that Christmas in Whooville they say, That the Guide Dog's harness grew three sizes bigger that day! For he learned that Christmas doesn't come from a store. It comes from us giving ourselves and much more.